Meet the Rabbit

Here he is - Leo's Rabbit. He 'lives' in my handbag and he travels with us everywhere we go. He has pictures taken at various locations, tourist attractions and places we visit. As a part of this blog we will describe Leo's Rabbit Travels to share our personal experiences from these visits. Hopefully couple of people (apart from us :-) ) will find it interesting and may even feel encouraged to visit one of Rabbit's destinations.

For us Leo's Rabbit Travels have a deeper meaning - it's a way to keep our son's memory alive. Those who already know our story would have learned that we had a son, Leo, who was diagnosed with Edward's syndrome (Trisomy 18), who was born prematurely and passed away on the third day of his life. As grieving parents we desperately want the whole world to know, that our son's short life was meaningful, brought out the best in us and changed our lives forever.

We want all the grieving parents to know that all our babies/children matter and we don't have to apologise for our grief. We don't have to apologise for holding on to the memories of our babies. That's all we have... We don't have to empty all these drawers full of clothes purchased for our babies. Not yet, not if we are not ready. We can keep the ashes of our babies in our bedroom for as long as we want. We can bury them, we can transfer them into a ring... whatever feels right for each of us. Nothing is weird, nothing is wrong. Whatever brings a bit of comfort to our lives after this devastating loss is OK.

Leo's Rabbit is our comfort blanket... well... literally he is a comfort blanket :-) We bought him for Leo during the pregnancy and he was placed in our hospital bag waiting patiently for Leo's arrival. After Leo was born, Rabbit spent a night under MamaMus's shirt in order to absorb her smell (and I have to tell you that after a long day and night at the hospital there was a lot of smell to absorb :) ). Next morning Rabbit was placed in Leo's hospital cot to comfort him with MamaMus's familiar scent and stayed there with our son for the rest of his life. When Leo passed away in MamaMus's arms he was covered with Rabbit's blanket.

That is how Rabbit became so important to us. It may sound horrible, but he is the closest 'creature' to Leo we have. He was there with Leo. You probably noticed (that is if you are still reading this monologue of a crazy Rabbit Lady) that we refer to Rabbit as 'he', not 'it' (being fully aware that it's grammatically incorrect). It's because this Rabbit is not a toy to us, he is not 'it' - he is Leo's Rabbit and by carrying him everywhere we go, we carry a little more of our son.

We cannot take Leo to all the places we were hoping to visit with him. And as sad as it sounds, we are going to 'show' Rabbit some of them and share Rabbit's Travels with you. Get ready for the ride - Leo's Rabbit likes to fly high.

PS. If you think we are crazy, you are probably right. If you are a grieving parent and being 'crazy' helps you dealing with your grief - so be it!