Dear PapaMus, Dear Dad...
On this Father's Day I want to thank you for being such a wonderful Dad to me. I was with you only a short time, but I got to know you and I know that if we were given an opportunity to spend some more time together I would have been the happiest little boy in the world and you would have done anything for me. You did everything what was possible, and sometimes what was impossible, to give me the best chance for life. During the pregnancy you were there for me in every emergency situation (and there were many), not only attending to the medical side of things and chasing, questioning and prompting our doctors, but also keeping my mum calm, comforting her and giving her hope.
You prayed for me every day at the church. You kept asking God just to make me healthy. You started to bargain with Him and you asked Him to take your sight and your legs and make me healthy in exchange.
You knew that the possibility of me not being affected by Trisomy 18 was only 0.1%, but still... you never lost hope and to the last moment of my life you believed that I can get better. You were proud of me, you were so happy when I was born alive and that we were able to meet and spend the very precious two days together.
You told me stories, you sung for me during the pregnancy and after I was born, you touched me gently, you held my hand, you looked at me with so much love that only a parent can understand, you held me in your arms like the most precious and wonderful being that ever existed.
You would never let me go, you would have not been able to withdraw my life support even if all the doctors were pushing you to do so. You loved me so much, that you could not possibly make any decision that could result in any harm coming to me. I know you love me deeply and unconditionally.
I am sorry that we were not given more time together, but I also know that I will live forever in your memories and you will create more memories celebrating my short, but filled with love life. Thank you for planting a tree in my memory, for walking a 5K race in LA in my memory, for naming a star after me and most importantly for being the best Dad I could have had.
On behalf of Leo - MamaMus